A Slytherin's Worst Nightmare
by jazzy2may
Summary: AU fun little ficlet. How Severus Snape became employed at Hogwarts and made Head of House of Hufflepuff.


**Title: A Slytherin's Worst Nightmare  
>Author: Jazzy2may<br>Pairing: None  
>Rating: GPG  
>Warning: AU, PWP, Humor and Angst<br>xtra warning: No Beta. written quickly and in one day.**

Author's Note: this is something that came to me, its a drabble for now. I might eventually go back and make a full story of it at a later date... Right now though its a character puff piece. A Major AU and something done for a tickle. I hope you find this as amusing as I found it to be while writing it. Thank you for reading. and enjoy. sincerely, Jazzy.

**Summary**: How Severus became Head of Hufflepuff House

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><p>A Slyhterin's worst nightmare<p>

He had survived the war. He could survive this as well. He didn't like children but it was far better than Azkaban. Dumbledor had promised to take care of Severus by giving him a place in Hogwarts. The only place Severus had ever truly considered as his home. He would once more reside in the safety of Hogwarts but this time as a Teacher, Professor of, and Master of, Potions as well as, Head of House of Slytherin, which was traditionally part and parcel of the responsibilities of being Professor of Potions at Hogwarts.

"I am so sorry Severus."

When a conversation started out with that particular phrase it meant bad news. Bad news particularly for Severus Snape.

"Am I going back to Azkaban?" gasped Snape in horror and terror as well as a growing sense of betrayal and outrage.

"Oh No! No no no no no no, my boy, nothing like that. I promise you." said Albus quick to reassure Severus of his place among his staff was still secure and that Severus would not be seeing Azkaban any time in the present or hopefully in the future either.

"So then what are you apologizing for?" asked Snape in a waspish tone of voice. He didn't appreciate having his blood pressure escalate or having his mind recall the horrors he'd faced and suffered in Azkaban at the hands of its foul caretakers of the like of the Dementors.

"Well, the thing is, as you know Severus usually Head of Slyhterin is also the Potions Professor, however in this case - " Albus played with his candy dish pausing to think about the way to word what he had to say next.

"There is no easy way of saying this so, I will say it plain to you, Severus, Professor Sprout has been appointed Head of Slytherin."

Snape blinked. Was that all? Well good. Then he wouldn't have to deal with the dunderheads outside of class. That was such a relief. He hadn't been sure about becoming what would have essentially made him a Guardian of children. His own childhood had been hell. So he didn't exactly hold delusions that he would make a good d"dad". He was actually happy that this so-called terrible news was actually quite a positive relief to him.

Albus let Severus process this news and was surprised to see what looked to be relief pass over his potions master's face then quickly disappear into his usual neutral expression waiting for Albus to elaborate further on the subject.

"The Governors have decided that they cannot take the chance that future Death-Eater will come from this school or from the house of Slytherin. They feel that a warm and family oriented person might make the difference between following the path of Light or the path of Darkness. A Hufflepuff is fair minded as well as usually open enough to give second chances as well as offer support and caring, and that is why dear Pamona has been made Head of Slytherin."

Albus paused again to let everything sink in and wait for a comment from his opinionated x-student.

"This sounds promising." mused Severus, though secretly he feared for Slytherin house, Pamona Sprout, and the future of his brothers and sisters within his old almamater. He also felt a slight nagging sensation of disquiet. There was obviously something else that the Headmaster wanted to tell him, something his mind tried to puzzle out but couldn't quite make the connections. Albus wouldn't look so nervous if it was just this one adendum. He was sure of it.

"Yes it does, doesn't it." smiled Albus.

Further suspicions entered Severus's mind. He felt his head beginning to get light with a little dizzyness thrown in. He intuitively knew what was about to come next.

"Severus, the Governors felt that if we put a Death-Eater, a reformed one or not, in charge of Slytherin we would be looking at another war in future. They felt you would subvert the impressionable children into darkness. However with Pamona's gracious acceptance of the post we now have the Head of Hufflepuff empty and this is where it gets rather interesting." Albus' eyes twinkled madly.

He'd heard Dumbledor was quite the nutter, quite mad, quite insane, but this? This? Dumbeldor couldn't possibly be about to say what Severus felt he knew with absolute certainty he was about to say to him.

"No." gasped Snape interrupting the Headmaster before he could say it and make this new nightmare come true.

"Severus, please my boy, please just listen to me. I know it wasn't exactly what we had agreed upon and I am sorry to lose you as Slytherin head, because as we both know, Voldermort still has power in Slytherin and you could have used your abilities in sleuthing there to help put a stop to anything dark there. But with Pamona now as Head of House I feel there may come a new and great change to the House of the Snake. But that does leave us with the opening for Head of Hufflepuff and unfortunately the Governors have made this an absolute on your employment here at Hogwrts. We both have little choice in this matter, Severus." pleaded Albus for Severus' reason to prevail.

It was true that Slytherin would never be the same again, not as long as a Hufflepuff was in charge of it. Which he did hope would do his house some good. But to put _HIM_ in charge of Hufflepuff?

He was stunned. He was actually speechless. He sputtered and tried to say something, anything but nothing was coming to him. In fact the room seemed to definitely be spinning. He thought for a moment as he searched the headmaster's office for some sign of something other then the apacolypse that he must be hallucinating.

He must be on drugs. Mybe the insence from the bookstore he had gone to earlier that morning had been something other then incense. Bad him for visiting a dark occult shop. Bad Severus.

He had to be asleep. This had to be some weird manifestation of his gothic morbid and emo id in his unconscious mind.

Or perhaps, dare he believe it? Perhaps he was dead? Yes, perhaps he was dead and in hell? Yes, that had to be the answer. He was dead. He was in hell. He had to be. There was no way that this could be happening to him. No way.

No, wait, why am I in denial? I am Severus Snape. If my life can get any worse it does and it will happen. Because I am Severus Snape. And my life has always sucked. He looked desperately to the wall behind Albus to the portraits who were all of them looking on the matter with all kinds of interest and expressions. But what really sealed the deal for Severus Snape was the portrait of the dead headmasters who had once been Slytherins in their previous lives before being in charge of Hogwarts.

Phineus Nigelous Black summed it up for him, for all of them really; his portrait was littered with whiskey bottles. The man was positively swimming in fire whiskey. Imbibing by the bottles full. Phineus Nigelous Black waved his bottle at Severus Snape and saluted him. It was the last thing that Severus could recall, that and the thought of "I think I am going to faint" came to mind, as the floor for some reason came up to greet his face, breaking his nose in the process.

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><p>He awakened some time later in the hospital wing with Madame Pomphrey fussing about him with the Headmaster seated in a chair next to him concern making his twinkling eyes a sea of blue sympathy.<p>

"Chocolate frog?" offered Albus after a quick search in his robes pockets.

Still in an odd dissassociated feeling Severus accepted the chocolate fumbled with the box, caught the frog in an easy and well practiced manner from his time as a child, then bit the head clean off.

"I am so sorry my dear boy. I knew that such news would quite disconcert you but I had no idea how much so." apologized Albus yet again.

Severus continued to eat his frog, trying to keep the panic from getting to him. How was he going to deal with Hufflepuffs? He didn't know the first thing about the managing and caring for Hufflepuffs.

"Headmaster." whispered Snape still dealing with his shock. "I can't possibly... I mean... How am I supposed to... I mean wont the childrens - The Hufflpuffs' families be quite upset with my appointment to head of that... er" uncomfortably searching for a word to describe the Hufflepuff House and settling for: "That prestigeous house... that of Head of Hufflepuff?"

"Oh, I am sure there will be some suspicions and some uproar but it would occurr even if you had been made Head of Slytherin if for no other reason then for appearances sake as you probably know." replied Albus, with a small smile and twinkling amused eyes.

This really can't be happening to me. Whimpered the inner Severus Snape beofre his nasty side bitch slapped the whimp aside and growled. Our lives suck! of course this is hapening to us! Its punishment! Its HELL on Earth. Of course this is our life and this is happening to us. he hissed. Now face it like a man. We've had crap for a life before and we shouldn't expect any better. We've managed before we can still manage it now and manage it into the future. So face it and man up!

"I am so so sorry Severus, but the Governors have quite tied my hands. If you refuse the position of Head of Hufflepuff Hogwarts will take back its offer of employment. Severus we have little other choices here. Please, my boy, please say you will accept the position."

"Fine." he growled. This is a Lemon and I will make Lemonade. I may not like Lemonade and I may hate it, but this is my life and I will make what I can of it. "I will accept the job and I will do my duty towards the house of hufflepuff and the students within it will have my loylaty and care. I so swear it and make the vow asked of me by my employment contract to Hogwarts."

Albus beamed at him and patted him on the shoulder in support and pride. "Thank you, my boy. Thank you for accepting the position. I am very happy to have you with us at Hogwarts and on my staff. I look forward to working with you this coming new school year and all the future years you choose to continue working with us."

They shook hands and Severus allowed his body to slump on the bed then closed his eyes and told himself once again the lemonade strategy.

The New School year came too quickly for Severus' liking. He was not going to change his personality or his likes or dislikes just becuase he was now in charge of Hufflepuff. He would always be Severus Snape, Slytherin. He would always prefer Black to color of any other kind, and his moods would always be swinging like a pendulumn between one extreme or the other and children would always exasperate him, irritate him and antagonize him.

He hated kids. No matter who they were or what house they were in. He would always be a curmudgeon and cantankerous. He was not goin to change who he was just to make his new house, new home, new co-workers like him. They would respect him or fear him or both, that was all he cared about. He didn't need to be liked, just minded.

He was dressed in black, glowering down from the staff table at all the returning and newly appointed students to Hogwarts, all Dunderheads. On his breast pocket was special made crest of his own making. The Hufflepuff house crest was joined by the Slytherin crest below the large symbol of the Potions Master that of an animated cauldron boiling in the midst of a brewing. He felt the badge alone would speak most as to his cares and beliefs: Potions before everything else.

The sorting went well and then the headmaster introduced to the student body his staff and the newest two members of said staff. the defense teacher, a no body from no where that Severus had ever heard of and whom Severus suspected was an imposter or a poser or both. Severus sneered at the man and enjoyed watching him squirm under his own intimidating death eater glare level one, a mock and a sneer intermixed.

"And now I would like to introduce to you all, our newest staff member and newly appointed Head of Hufflepuff, The Potions Master and New Potions Professor, Severus Snape. Please give our dear new Professor Snape a warm welcome."

The End

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><p>Thank you for the recent feedback and gentle critique. An AU is an AU for a reason and that is all I will say on the matter. And God Love the NitPickers out there. :D<p>

All Feedback is appreciated as long as they are not flames.

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